


The Time I Thought We Would Have

by Xycodie



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Based of ‘You Mean the World to Me’ by Freyda Ridings, F/F, I might make it multi chapter, Lena Luthor Needs Therapy, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, post 5x03
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2020-12-27 12:02:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21118460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xycodie/pseuds/Xycodie
Summary: So... Post 5x03 made me angry. I ended up putting the song from where Kara’s floating and staring at Lena fondly, on repeat and wrote this  warning: This is angsty. Comments motivate me to give them a happy ending.





	1. Chapter 1

_“And I'm so sorry I've never shown just how much you hold”_ ~You Mean the World to Me, by Freyas Riding 

  


Lena sighed ever so quietly as she carefully took her heels off setting them to the side after entering the shared apartment. After rubbing the soles of her feet for a moment the Luthor got up walking to the room her and Kara shared, to find the Kryptonian fast asleep under the covers and Lena smiled to herself. She was absolutely beautiful. Even in sleep. Blonde rivulets splayed across the pillow. Long tan muscular arms cuddling the pillow with a gentleness that made one question that this was actually the girl of steel. The CEO quickly got undressed before slipping beneath the covers next to Kara snuggling up to her, only to find in surprise the blonde shifting and wiggling until they were face to face. 

“Hello darling.” Lena spoke out softly before noticed the crinkle that rested between Kara’s forehead. Her bangs did hide a bit of it, but it was still noticeable. 

“Darling?” She repeated the pet name in more of a question. 

“Do you know it’s 3am?” At this obvious rhetorical question yet not so obvious Lena furrowed her eyebrows in slight confusion. 

“...Yes?” She said her voice carrying uncertainty as it drifted in the space between them. 

“You have been working past midnight for the past three months Lena! The past Three! Months!” This time the Kryptonians voice was harsh causing the Luthor to flinch slightly at the suddenness of it. 

“I’ve been working on a lot of projects Kara.” The Luthor reasoned, before the blonde headed woman pulled away sitting up causing Lena to do the same in confusion. 

“I know that you have a company to run Lena, but what you’ve been doing?! Isn’t healthy! At all!” She exclaimed, anger filling her voice as the super tossed back the blankets and got up walking out of their bedroom Lena uneasily trailing after her. 

“Kara, darling,” but the reporter interrupted her, whirling around to face her before she could finish,

“You have been blowing me off! You won’t even go to game night! You have been blowing everyone else off as well! Alex! James! Nia! Brainy! The whole lot of them Lena!” 

“And what's your point?” The raven haired woman drawled out, her tone seemingly tired of the conversation, no, the argument that they were having. 

“It’s not healthy!” Kara repeated but plowed on before Lena could reason or make excuses,

“I know you’re hurt! I know you are! But they all are too! They are hurting! Especially Alex, Lena, and you need to help them!” 

Lena yanked her head back slightly in confusion at the sentences that were just uttered by the woman before her,

“Kara, what do you mean? I’m not hurt, I’ve been busy, yeah, but I’m not hurting?” She asked concern laced in her voice, yet her jaw tightened and her voice seemed to come out as if it was a ghost of recognition that was unwanted. 

“I’ll go and drop by and tell Alex ‘hi’ if you really want me-”

“I’m dead Lena.” 

The words immediately had an effect on the normally composed CEO as she was sent reeling backwards in surprise and shock at the words uttered out of her girlfriends mouth. 

She was left her mouth opening and closing as she stood there gaping, words seemingly unable to be formed, as Kara continued, this time more gently

“Lena…”

“Wh- what do you mean you’re dead Kara?!” Lena found her voice after a few minutes, and continued speaking,

“Is this some kind of sick joke?” 

She watched as Kara softened at the sight of her pain riddled in her eyes,

“Three months ago Lena….. I fought Russian Kara. And I died.” Her voice cracked at this admission and Lena felt fear seize up in her. The Luthor felt sick to her stomach as she stumbled back knocking into the coffee table nearly falling back but caught herself. 

“This is some sick prank. Right? No. No, this is some alien, right? Some alien is causing chaos in National City and you’re under its spell. Or maybe I am. Maybe I’m under its influence or something. It’s all just some twisted dreams.” Lena stammered out before catching Kara’s saddened gaze and felt the truth hit her like a bullet through the heart. 

“This is real.” The raven haired woman heard herself whisper out. Immediately it was as if something twisted in her chest and she started stuttering out mindlessly. 

“No, no, no, no, this- this….” her breathing began to shorten as it seemed the air in the room was cut off and Lena was left gasping for breath. 

Kara, or, not? Kara? Lena didn’t know? She didn’t know because she was starting to remember. The headlines. Supergirl dead. National City’s Great Hero Gone. Everything was flashing through her mind so quickly the Luthor was choking on her breaths And Lena finding out from Alex. And asking where Kara was and she wouldn’t tell her. Simply telling her Kara left National City for good. That even after Supergirl died, Alex and all of them _ still _ lied to her.

The shorter woman was pulled out of her nightmare by soft hands cupping her cheeks and her eyes flickered up to see Kara, her own pain reflected in her eyes as she looked at Lena in worry and spoke,

“Lena. Darling, I need you to breath. Alright? Count with me…” after a few moments of them counting the Luthor managed to calm herself down. But Lena still had one question. She glanced at Kara in fear before speaking her words into the silence,

“Wh- how- how is this possible? Wha- What are you?” Her voice was heavily shaky, because as far as she was concerned? This was real. She could hear Kara’s voice. Smell her vanilla shampoo, feel her caring touch upon her cheek. 

“Three months ago Obsidian North created Virtual Reality contact lenses… they were created by Andrea Rojas. You know her, she was a friend of yours from boarding school.” 

Lena felt a part of her heart crack as not-Kara explained everything to her. 

“And you took a pair. And learned out to manipulate them. And from there? You... created a series of simulations. Essentially weaving them together, to create… your own little bubble. Of you and me.” The Kara looked at her with a sad smile and Lena felt the tears start to run down her cheeks again. Because she knew it to be true. She remembered telling Kara about her friend Andrea when she went to Lenas office the morning of herPulitzer Prize acceptance. Before Kara told her, her secret… but now it made sense. That it never happened. Just constructs built by her mind. 

“And you’ve just… been in here Lena. With me. And I know, I know you miss me. I know you do. But. You, you need to move on.”

Lena sat there in silence as she wrapped her mind around everything simulation Kara had just told her. 

“I… I don’t want to.” She croaked out her grip tightening around Kara’s biceps. Lena had created everything she ever wanted. Lex was dead. Kara had told her her secret. Kara and Lena had gotten together. Romantically. 

“I… I don’t want to.” The Luthor repeated her voice cracking and Kara shot her a sad smile. 

“I know. I know you love this. You love this world, this version of me you created but Lena it isn’t real. You need to face the truth. I’m so sorry. But this has to be done. Just know? I always did love you. And I always will love you. I will be in your heart. Okay?” By this point both women were crying as Kara pressed a gentle hand to Lenas chest and the shorter woman let out a loud sob practically throwing herself at the Kryptonian for a tight hug to which Kara caught her effortlessly, hugging her tightly. 

“I’m so sorry I never showed you how much you meant to me. This simulation is going to dissolve now. Okay? You mean the world to me, Lena Kieran Luthor, you are more than just your last name and I will never stop believing in you. Don’t you ever forget it. I love you.” 

Kara’s soothing voice in her ear was the last thing Lena hear her say, and yet only seemed to break her heart more. Harsh sobs wracked her body as Lena felt Kara disintegrating from her grip, fading away and found herself alone. Alone in her empty penthouse, her angry cries the only thing echoing in the room.


	2. Lost Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... Lena just found out Kara died three months ago and has been living in a simulation where they loved each other. Now knowing that, it’s time she does something.

_I never thought how much I lost you.~ ‘_Lost Without you’ by Freyda Ridings

  
She was lost. Lena had just found out it had all been a lie. Her love with Kara. Dating the Kryptonian, coffee dates, movie nights… all of it. A lie. And it felt like the Luthors world had collapsed as reality hit her like a pointed gun. Kara, Kara was dead. 

Which was how the whole getting stuck in simulation started. With Kara dying. And Lena. Lena never got to be angry. She never got to grieve. She shut everyone out. When they needed her. And Alex, god, Alex, has lied to her. Once Lena decided to bring it up with them. To question after a week where Kara was. And of course Lena knew she was supergirl. And she was hoping, desperately hoping that the Danvers would tell her the truth. Come clean. But instead? She told Lena she was on a vacation, no, actually Kara moved. She moved overnight somewhere off who knows where. And Lena felt stupid and so hurt, because did Alex really think Kara would ever just up and leave Lena without any explanation? 

Then again, she guessed that’s what did happen. Although the details were still fuzzy Lena knew she died as supergirl. Died doing what she loved. Protecting the world. But of course it didn’t make it hurt any less. Because Lena. Lena never got to say goodbye. She never got to be angry. She never got to fight with Kara. And then forgive her, make up. She never got to tell her, 

“I love you Kara Danvers.” 

It was a phrase she had practiced many nights in the mirror, as foolish and cliche as it sounded. She practiced it mentally, moments when they locked eyes for too long that could be considered friendly. 

And now she would never get the chance. 

The raven haired woman didn’t know what to do. She sat there, crying, curled up in a ball. Three months. She couldn’t help but wonder what had happened. While she was gone. The CEO honestly didn’t want to know. She didn’t want to live in a world that Kara didn't exist in. 

But Kara’s ghost echoed her words,

She was needed. Lena Luthor. Was needed by so many. Not just the world, not just by L-Corp but by her friends. Brainy, Nia, Winn, James… Alex. 

God. Alex. Sure, Lena had lost her best friend but Alex had lost her sister. No wonder she didn’t tell Kara’s secret. Because perhaps she didn’t want it to be true. That Supergirl may have died, but maybe Kara Danvers was still out there. Looking for a story, or just traveling. 

Lena felt the sobs start to tucker out as she was left with a shaky breath. Every breath was a pang of hurt to her heart. It was like she couldn’t even breathe without Kara. Kara. Who believed in her from day one. Who looked past her name, who wanted Lena to believe in herself. Kara. Who loved her more than Lena ever had experienced or deserved. Kara. Who never gave up on Lena, even when Lena gave up on herself. 

With wobbly legs, the scientist grabbed the coffee table and pulled herself up. 

Despite, having now to adjust to This gaping hole of a loss, Lena knew a few things. 

First thing was that the others had done it. Or at least she thought they had. They hadn’t retreated to a simulation for grief. Someone it was time Lena finally face. 

The second thing was Dream Kara was right. Even though she wasn’t real, Lena had programmed her to be like Kara, and she knew Kara would want Lena to check up on her sister. To help her. Because those two were each other’s worlds. Lena may have been Kara’s moon, but Alex came first. It was something Lena had accepted a long time ago. And she understood. Although Lena had a hint of what to do next she still wanted to make sure. Despite knowing the pain that she was about to relive. 

Lena brought her forefinger and thin to her eye, flicking them as everything sunk into black and another simulation appeared. 

It felt like it wasn’t even a simulation. Lena was in the same spot she had been. Of course except for one main difference. Kara was sitting on the couch a few feet away. And suddenly seemed to look confused, before a saddened look took over her face,

“Lena, I know you love it here but you-”

The scientist was quick to shake her head. She tasted the copper of her blood and realized she had been biting the inside of her cheek. It felt so soon. 

“I’m not here for you. I, I did some thinking. I know you’re right. That I need to face reality-” The Luthors voice cracked,

“But I feel so lost Kara. I feel so crushed without you. What am I supposed to do? When I go… when I go back?”

Kara’s frown disappeared slowly as she listened before waiting a beat, and spoke up,

“I am so proud of you Lena.” The Kryptonians voice was filled with determination and pride to which Lena could only look away, unable to watch Kara, who she knew was no longer here speak to her with such caring words. 

“I, they need you Lena. James. Winn, Alex-” this time it was the aliens voice who cracked at the mention of her sister,

“Please, I need to know they’re okay. I need, no- Alex needs someone Lena. I have no doubt she's pushing everyone away right now.” 

Lena felt intrigued at this sentence, interrupting Kara,

“Doesn’t she have Kelly?” She questioned, to which Kara shook her head opening her mouth to speak,

“Kelly wouldn’t understand. She barely knew her. Nia, Brainy, they don’t get it either. James, James was also someone Alex never got used to. But you! You have been my friend for three years. You, need to be there for her. Please.” By the end of the statement Lena felt her breath get stuck in her throat at how desperate Kara seemed. 

“I promise.” The CEO found herself whispering hoarsely in response. She didn’t waste another second, shutting down the simulation. She didn’t want teary eyed goodbyes. Not this time. A small exhale was released once it was over and Lena shuffled off to her bathroom. She had to freshen up. 

As the light was flicked on Lena cringed, nearly flinching at her own reflection, pale, her eyes carried bags, and she looked gauntly. Haunted. She was skinny, of course. To which the Luthor realized it was due to the fact that despite she did come out from the simulations at times to eat and whatnot, she still did it as quick as she could not wanting to spend time in the real world. It was all slowly coming back to her. 

After a quick shower Lena got dressed, simply putting on a hoodie and jeans before grabbing her keys and walked out. She needed to check on Alex. 

The drive over was silent, the Luthor not wanting to put on the radio. In fear of what may come on. The last thing the Luthor wanted to hear was the world still recuperating from Supergirls death.

So instead she drove, her music were the voices in her head. 

Wearily once arriving Lena decided to check the clock, something she hadn’t thought of doing. 

Illuminated by her phone light, the numbers, 11:54pm glowed back at her and Lena winced before finding her eyes gazing at the apartment building before her. She wondered. If Alex would even be there. If she would even be awake. As much as the scientist didn’t want to know, she knew she had to do this. Not only for herself, but for Kara. With a shaky deep breath, Lena made her way to Alex’s apartment. It was now or never. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments inspire happy endings kids


	3. Can I Blackout You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... it’s time to start living in the real world. It’s time to visit Alex. But will she be forgiven?

“_They tell me to forget, but I don’t want to. Your face is all I seem to see.” ~_Blackout by Freya Ridings 

  
Lena nervously was nervously wringing her hands together waiting for the door in front of her to open. She had been standing there for a few minutes yet was scared. What if Alex wanted nothing to do with her? What if Alex blamed her for leaving them the way she did? Maybe it was just best if she left. The scientist was about to turn heel when the door swing open and Lena stiffened in surprise as she was met with the face of Alex. The woman looked exhausted, bags under her eyes and a very tired expression on her face. It quickly changed when she recognized lena, her eyebrows shooting up her forehead. 

“Lena.” the Luthors name was spoken with an unexpected surprise, and Lena gave the director a shy smile, nervousness brimming up in her. 

  
  


“Hi, Uh, yeah.” She mumbled.The expression the woman across from her was quickly morphed into one of anger and Alex narrowed her eyebrows.

“What are you doing here?” Her voice was more reserved, cold and Lena internally winced at it. She knew this wasn’t going to be a pleasant welcome but she also knew that this was something she had to do. If not for her, then for Kara. 

“Listen… I know I haven’t been around within the last couple months-” The Luthor didn’t even get the chance to finish her sentence as Alex interrupted,

“You mean since Kara died? Is that what you’re talking about?” Her tone was biting and it took all Lena had to not flinch at the words. It was obvious there were hard feelings still there.

And honestly Lena didn't blame her. She couldn't blame her. Because even though she knew that she was close with Kara, Alex had been her sister. Her sister who Kara had at first been thrust upon and disliked but slowly warmed up to. The sister that she became supergirl for. The sister that Alex grew protective of. So of course, this was still hitting the Danver’s sister hard. 

  
  


It was at the sentence Lena decided to finally look up, tearing her gaze from the floor she found Alex, a pinched expression on her face, hate brewing in its features. It reminded Lena of when people looked at her, not as her, but as a Luthor. Not that Lena cared, it had been Lex that had ultimately caused Karas death. It made sense for Alex to be putting the blame on Lena.

  
  


The scientist knew it was time to stop running. To step out of the denial she had swallowed herself in. It was time to face the truth. Withthat thought Lena stood a little straighter, her posture changing as she went into CEO mode. 

Listen, I know I fucked up.” She said sternly, before continuing,

“But I’m here to reconcile things. If you let me. I understand that if you don’t want to. I understand, because after Kara-” Lena had to force the words out. 

“After she died. I left. I left you guys and I holed myself up. And yes, I know that you guys have been dealing with it as well, but I handled it worse than I should have. And I’m here to change that.”

There. She had said it. Kara was dead. Surprisingly, or maybe not surprisingly Lena didn't feel anything. Still numb. She thought the word was going to cause her to break down, but apparently not. 

Lena watched carefully, as she was scrutinized under Alex’s gaze, and stood a little straighter, giving her a stern look. 

“Come in.” Surprise hit the Luthor with these words as Alex seemingly slumped, opening the door wider. Cautiously Lena obeyed, crossing the threshold her hands still wringing together nervously as Alex closed the door and turned to face her. 

“Why are you really here?” 

The question took the raven haired woman by full surprise. She didn’t get the time to dwell on her vendetta before the redhead was plowing on, 

“You have literally shut us out. Everyone was fucking worried. And now you want to reconcile? Just like that? We both know you’ve been having a pity party for yourself for the past three months, so tell me, what the fuck happened for you to pull this kind of move?”

This was definitely not the Alex Lena was used to. This Alex was cold, hard, her features morphed into something ruthless. Sure in the beginning it reminded her of Alex. When she first met her, and the agent was wary of Lena, like everyone else. But this was an Alex who had lost her Kara. And Lena knew how close they were.

Lena felt her posture slump. It was time to explain; what she had been doing from the time Kara had passed away. Died. Lena had to remind herself, as it triggered another memory.

_ “Why the soft pedaling? I mean It's kind of like when people would say, so sorry your brother passed.” Passed what? Gas? Passed his driver's test? No, he didn’t pass lady, he freaking died. Dead. As a doornail.” the voice was cool to begin with, before growing harsher. It was Adams, her test subject and Lena found herself listening, not by choice. Listening and reminding herself that he was a test subject. She had to remain disconnected from him. Uncaring. Emotions were not something she should dwell on. But she also couldn’t ignore the little voice in her head that said he had a point. She of course shrugged it away, turning around and keeping her expression neutral. Not giving anything away. Just like the Luthors taught her, as she calmly took the tablet from him setting it to the side and began to explain the procedure to him_.

  
  


“Lena!” the voice yanked the scientist out of her memories and she flinched, looking back at Alex who had been waiting for an explanation to why she was here. Right. 

“Do you remember the VR tech that CatCo came up with a few weeks later?” She questioned sternly. 

“You mean after Kara died? Yeah, I remember that. After you sold CatCo, and buried yourself in work. When Jonn, James, Brainy, Nia and I tried to get you to grieve and stop working but you refused to listen to us?”

Lena felt herself stiffen at the repeat comment that Kara was dead. She was fully aware of that. Was Alex trying to rub it in or something? The Luthor ignored the comment and merely continued,

“Yes, that.” she said tightly before pausing for a minute. It was time to explain the VR aspect of what she had been doing and found it confusing and difficult. What kind of person does what she did? It didn’t matter, the scientist reasoned with herself as she looked at Alex who had her arms folded across her chest waiting.

“Well, for starters, I sold the company to Andrea—“

“Rojas. After Kara died of course. The crazy bitch who totally changed Catcos direction, of which James and Nia are still upset about.” Alex counter attacked. 

Lena didn’t know if Alex was referring to the fact that Kara was dead or CatCo changed. But nonetheless she was growing impatient with Alex bringing it up repeatedly. 

“I know she died!”Lena snapped back, anger twisted on her features as she plowed on, 

“I'm fully aware she's dead so you can stop bringing it up!’  
  


“Are you?! Because I’m not sure you fucking understand it yet!!” Alex yelled back with equal spitfire and vigor and Lena practically snarled,

“I’m fully fucking aware Kara’s dead!” her eyes held anger at the Danvers for not letting the subject matter drop. 

“IT MEANS SHE'S NOT COMING BACK LENA!! YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT!!” Lena felt taken aback at the sentence and she frowned. She stood there numbly as the energy seemed to drain out of her. Alex seemed to notice this, as she softened, and spoke with more of a gentle tone,

“I know that you know she’s dead Lena. But.. I don’t think you’ve realised she’s not coming back.”

A sob bubbled up out of Lenas chest. She knew this was true. All this time the VR… it was because that even though she knew Kara was dead… she was hoping… Maybe there was a chance for her to come back. And the simulations were a way of that. Lena didn’t consciously recognize it though. 

“I get it. I’ll admit it. I was a mess after the whole ordeal as well. Still am. But Jonn, James, Nia, and Brainy, they helped. We all were at a loss. And we all hoped maybe it wasn’t real… but we couldn’t stop living our lives. Lena we had to recognize that she isn’t.. She isn’t coming back.” Alex by now had gently sat the two of them down, rubbing Lena’s back softly as the raven haired woman was calming herself down. She didn’t exactly have much energy to cry at the moment. 

“Therapy helps. It helped me realize that. Like, for example, the obvious reason you sold CatCo to Andrea was because you were grieving. CatCo reminded you of her. So, you sold it to Andrea, that bitch-” 

At the comment Lena wiped away a stray tear that had fallen, giving Alex an angry look, 

“She wasn’t all that bad, She was a friend from boarding school.” Lena found herself say defensively and Alex snorted, 

“Yeah, coming from the woman who has said she's never had friends before Kara, is saying she had friends. Be honest Lena we don't care if they were friends with benefits.”

The comment left Lena gaping in surprise. It in fact had been true, that her and Andrea had, briefly in boarding school a fling. But how had Alex picked up on that? Did that mean she knew about Victoria?

Alex who had merely given Lena a look that shouted ‘really? You didn’t think I knew?’ gestured for Lena to keep speaking,

Lena had to pull her thoughts back together, the surprise from Alex knowing she had flings with women still leaving her slightly breathless,

“Well… I ended up taking a pair of lenses. And experimented with them.” She finished simply with a short shrug. And that she had. She remembered convincing Andrea to lend her a pair. And Lena at first had the intention of creating a way to cause humanity not to want to hurt each other. But then it changed when she realized she could create simulations.

Alex squinted at Lena out of confusion, “So?” 

Lena took a deep breath. Time to tell it all.

“I made them into VR that created simulations. Programmed with linking to your brain.” It was this that the Danvers sister seemed to catch on. The most common result that would probably occur is Lena making a way to cope with her grief. Of course she wasn’t going to let Lena off the hook that easily.

“And?” 

Lena sighed irritably. “I used them for simulations. Of Kara. I figured it would help in some way.” her voice was resigned as Alex kept her face expressionless merely speaking calming

“Just get to the point Lena. Be honest. Its fucking three am and I’m tired, and have work in the morning.”

Lena felt surprise at the statement that Alex was working already and the expression mustve showed because Alex expanded on her topic

“Not everyone has time to hole themselves in an apartment for months on end.”

This comment cause Lena to snap, speaking without thinking, 

“I made a simulation where Kara was still alive and we were together.”

Alex didn't even seem to be fazed, “Okay?” 

“And I got lost in it.” Lena tentatively said. Alex’s reaction, or lack thereof seemed to be throwing her off. 

“Well?” she asked after waiting for Alex to give some reaction. 

“It's no secret you were in love with my sister Lena.” Alex finally said gently and Lena felt herself taken by surprise, but Alex wasn't finished,

“So it makes sense. If that’s the case why are you still here? Wouldn’t you still be lost in there?”

At the question Lena felt irritated. How was she to explain? 

“Well, it seems that the simulation algorithm is pulled from memory, emotions, feelings, thoughts, and forms of media. And tonight… she became self aware.” This sentence caused confusion to form on the redheads face and she rubbed her face before speaking,

“What? HOw-” 

Lena threw up her hands at the questions.

“Here, Let me just show you.” She said pulling out the box she kept in her pocket and tossed it at Alex who gave her a weird look picking it up.

“I always keep spares.” Lena explained hastily. Alex hastily rolled her eyes opening them and popped the contacts in.

“Alright. Shall we?” Lena asked and Alex gave a nod. 

‘Well I've created a projection feature a while back. It just needs the contacts in your eyes, you don’t need to turn it on. I paired them already.” 

“So you, like, bluetooth hologrammed this?” 

Lena nodded.

With a flick of her hands her eyes turned blue. It took a few moments, before a hologram popped up. It was Kara. Lena felt her jaw tighten ever so slightly before her eyes glanced at Alex who seemed to be taken back. 

“Kara?” The hologram turned around facing the both of them, surprise etched in her features as she saw Alex and looked at Lena. “Wh- Whats happening?” 

“I did as you said. And Alex wanted to see you.” Her tone was gentle, and quiet.

Alex on the other hand stood there eyes widened in surprise, her expression as if she was seeing a ghost. And in a way, she was. 

“How? How did you get me here?” Kara asked still seemingly confused looking warily around. 

“Bluetooth projection feature.” Lena said not wanting to explain the nitty gritty details. Kara seemed to be soaking this all in and nodded.

“So, you listened?” the kryptonian gave Lena a look that the Luthor couldn't quite decipher. Pride? Recognition of sorts? Acceptance of sorts? Lena didn’t know and instead gave a resigned small nod. Normally she would feel her own pride well up inside at Kara’s approval but something had changed.

Upon noticing Lena’s subtle reluctance Kara took a few steps forward towards Lena. “Lena, I am so proud of you.” her voice was gentle along with her expression and Lena had to shove her feelings down. The simulation met her eyes searching for a moment and gave a quick nod. She had noticed the shift. How Lena, instead of usually falling into Karas spell, was putting distance between the two. She was taking her words with a grain of salt. She was recognizing this wasn’t Kara. 

Kara turned her focus back to Alex who was still merely standing there, still in what appeared to be shock. 

Upon realizing she had caught the simulations attention Alex gave a quick shake of the head. 

“Nope, no. I am not here to get sucked into the appeal that is you.” She said stiffly and both Lena and Kara had to stifle a laugh. 

“I won’t force anything. I’m glad I managed to finally got Lena to realize what was happening.” Kara said quietly with a grin. 

Alex merely gave a nod and Kara turned back to Lena. 

“I should get going.” She whispered out softly. She was trying to nudge Lena into ending the simulation, or whatever this was. 

Lena couldn’t help the sigh that escaped her as she looked at Kara, who looked as beautiful as ever. She knew what Kara was trying to say. It was time to stop seeing her. It was time to spend it in the real world.

“I…” she couldn’t get the words out, but it was as if Kara knew, taking a careful step forward. 

“Don’t forget, I’m proud of you.” 

Lena felt a lump rise in her throat and she didn’t respond, merely shutting the simulation down before crashing back on the couch. 

“Is it always that hard?” Alex’s voice came from a little ways away and Lena had nearly forgotten she wasn’t in her apartment. She was in Alex’s. 

“Yeah.” She whispered out quietly as Alex cautiously made her way over to Lena as if she was a spooked animal. 

“No wonder you didn’t want to leave.” The Danvers said, trying to lighten the mood. Lena let out a sour chuckle as Alex sat down next to her. 

They were quiet for a moment, both pondering on what had just occurred. 

“Well that was something. Like an AI pokemon.” It was Alex who broke the silence first. Lena nodded in agreement before Alex hesitated and spoke again,

“How was it so real?”

“What do you mean?” Lena asked puzzled and Alex elaborated,

“I get that the VR simulation pulls on our memories, connecting to our brains and everything we've seen or felt and whatnot, and I get that's how Kara knew she wasn't alive… but wouldn't that mean she was AI? If she recognized herself to be a simulation wouldn't that be some sort of glitch in the system and it would collapse?”

This question brought confusion to the Luthor. It hadn't been a question she had expected either. 

  
  


“I… never thought of that. I just figured it pulled it from my mind… the grief aspect of it?”

Alex nodded but continued undeterred,

“But that still. Doesn’t make sense. These are VR lenses Lena. Not an AI. So if it is a simulation, how the hell and why the hell did it recognize itself as so?” 

These questions were puzzling to Lena. She understood what Alex was asking, but until then Lena had just chalked it up to the simulation picking up on her brain waves or whatever. 

“I… don’t have an answer for you.” She murmured quietly as the two were left together in confusion and swimming in questions. 

**Author's Note:**

> I am debating making an alternate ending where Lena asks Kara before she leaves, “What do I do?!” and perhaps it will lead to a happy ending? Aka, going to Alex and all of them, healing together... then finding out Kara isn’t dead.... and nor is a certain someone else? Just an idea. Comments and criticism are welcomed! Find me on tumblr at @supercorpandbeyond 
> 
> Send me ideas and I’ll try to write them to the best of my abilities!


End file.
